Talking dirty isn’t something I thought I’d do before meeting M. I guess I’d never really thought about it, actually. This is particularly funny because as a teenager I read my fair share of erotica, and even attempted writing some. But I suppose I thought that saying that stuff out loud would just sound funny and be awkward.
But in what was essentially the first two weeks of my relationship with M, we found ourselves apart, but texting and talking on the phone for hours at a time. M was testing the waters with his kinks — I knew he had some, but I didn’t know the details yet — and I think the four hour phone conversations at night attest to how much we enjoyed talking to each other. They also opened up the door for talking dirty.
So much of really fantastic, earth-shattering sex is mental. So much of kink is mental. And while talking dirty is a bit of an art, it’s an art that I think everyone would do well to be versed in.
Even when our night time chats turned into videos, the language we used was still critical to our experience. Sure, it was nice to see the other person dressed up and “performing”, but without the conversation it didn’t have the same meaning. And even now, nearly four years later, a few days apart is all it takes to quickly escalate to what we now call “horny talk”.
Requests to serve the master/mistress, promises to sleep in sleep sacks, schemes to wearing rubber to dinner… the language and the fantasy we build is not only fun and hot, but also really important because when reality creeps in, it’s not always possible to follow through on those elaborate discussions and plans. But I’ve learned to appreciate those words in the moment, and even more so when they are later translated to reality.
And when lucky enough to make those plans happen, it’s incredibly hot (and often evil) to repeat those words back to the bottom. “I’m just doing as you requested, slave. Aren’t you happy about that?” :)